midnight realization

Friday, January 30, 2015

Last night Cameron and I watched the series finale to our favorite show Parenthood. 

I am seriously heartbroken this show isn't on anymore. It was our absolute favorite and such a great show to have on TV these days. The ending was perfect. I loved it so much I'm going to watch it again today while Amelia naps ;)

So we didn't get to bed until around 10:30 because after the show, Cam and I of course had to talk about it! Around 11:30 p.m. I heard a little voice over the baby monitor say "help mommy more laguwa pweeze" which is code for she needs water ;) So I went to her room, gave her water after which she pointed to the bed in there and said "sleep mommy pweeze." could I resist that. So we hopped into bed to which I discovered the real reason she woke up...coughing. She was coughing so much that neither of us could sleep. I got the humidifier going, rubbed vicks on her chest and back and gave her Zarabees cough syrup. I thought for sure that would do the trick. 


She continued to cough for what felt like hours before she sat up and said "Mommy I play ninja turtles pweeze." I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Like seriously sleep. So I turned on the lamp (insert small attitude) got her off the bed and let her play next to me while I closed my eyes. A few minutes later (the medicine was kicking in ) she was staring at my face with 3 ninja turtles in her hand so I pulled her up in bed and her little body curved right into mine. I knew she was sleepy and her coughing had stopped...thankfully. With the light still on I propped myself up a little and lightly brushed her blonde curls off her face and just stared at her while her eyes were closed.

Then it happened. 

I heard a voice very clearly say 

It's not about you

Yes I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep (insert another small attitude) but hearing that voice cleared my heart.

It's not about you

She needed me tonight to sleep. She was helpless and couldn't make herself not cough...she needed me to help her. How in the world could I have an attitude about that? My mind started racing on how many times I've been selfish in moments when my kids needed me but I wanted to fulfill my own needs.

It's not about you

My heart sank. All I have ever wanted was to be a mom. Literally...that's all. I've been given 3 precious children to fulfill this dream yet am I really truly taking all advantage of this gift? Most of the time yes...especially when it's easy. But in the night, when they are vulnerable and need me am I forgetting what being in service to others really is?

It's not about you

I continued to stare at her sweet face until she was in a deep sleep. I prayed to God and thanked him for this sign because I know it came from him. He spoke to me and told me exactly what I needed to hear...not just for this moment, but for other things in my life I've been struggling with lately. 

I fell asleep and Amelia and I slept perfect the rest of the night. I woke up refreshed, feeling like a new person, a new mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend.

It's not about you

If we still our bodies and minds and really listen (my word for the year) God will speak to us and guide us. I fully in all my heart believe he spoke to me last night. It was one of the clearest things I have ever heard. It changed my heart. 

Give him the chance to change your's too.

sacrament of penance

Thursday, January 29, 2015

"that you may know that the Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins" (Mt 8:6). And Jesus to the Apostles in John 20:21-23 reads: "... As the Father has sent Me, so I send you. And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them: 'Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained."

1.20.15 Asher William celebrated his sacrament of penance or 1st confession. As Catholics we believe that you should confess your sins in private to a priest. It's just what we believe. It's very important to us and it was very important to me that my children understand the magnitude of this sacrament. 

Asher and I prepared for months, talking a lot about what confession means and what sins for a 7 year old really are. He was very prepared and a little nervous when we went to the church that Tuesday evening. He was very brave and I was so proud of him for sitting in front of the priest (in private of course) and confessing his sins. He left the booth with a huge smile on his face. I knew how he felt since I have felt that feeling so many times. My heart was so proud of him. 

I look forward to taking my boys to many more confessions and seeing that look on their face of freedom...freedom from the sins that might be burdening their hearts. 

Ocean's (Where feet may fail)
By: Hillsong United

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior 

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine

For more info on why as Catholics we celebrate confession read

the truth about the stone at Escondido

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I am so in love with the way our house is looking. It truly is my dream home and every time I see a new step finished makes me fall in love with it even more. It seriously is breathtaking!

I love this stone. When Cameron and I were in deco it was so hard picking some of the things for the house...stone being one. They hand you different boards with a stone pattern on it and say "Okay now which one do you want?" There are about 4 pieces of stone on each board so to say picking one out was hard is the understatement of the year! I kind of took over and convinced Cameron to pick out a certain stone that I thought would fit the feel of the house even though it wasn't necessarily his first pick. Happy wife happy life right?! ;)


this is not the stone I picked. I know it with everything inside me this is not the stone I picked. I can drive around the neighborhood and point out the stone I picked and this is 100% not it.

The good news...

I like this one a million times more then the one I picked. Cameron has become pretty close with our contractor Sam. Back about a month and a half ago on the street around the corner, they were putting up stone on a house. I fell in love with that stone. I asked Cam if he thought we could switch our stone to which he just laughed and said no. So I gave up my dream of my favorite stone and assured myself that I would love what we picked. Cam mentioned to Sam how I really liked that stone but that we never saw it so it must have been an upgraded stone to which he replied yes. Fast forward to Monday when they started putting up the stone. Cameron sent me a picture of it to which I immediately replied that's the stone I wanted!!!!!! Not the stone we picked!!!!!! I think Sam changed the order and I couldn't be happier with it. Will he ever admit it...probably not. He could get in trouble I'm sure. Do I care...not at all! I'm so head over heels with how gorgeous our house looks my heart could explode!

So there my friends is the truth about the stone at Escondido House :)

Have a happy hump day!

the tales of the 3rd child

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

If my little Amelia wrote a book one day I would loving like the title to be Tales of the 3rd Child.  While for some that might sound negative, I say it with no other intention then being positive. With my boys (mostly because they were so close in age) we lived by a very strict schedule. I needed that to survive the day to day life. Nothing wrong with's just how I chose to mother at that time. I think also the fact that I was young and wanted to do everything "right" played a huge part in the way our house was run. I always said that when I had a third I would try to be more laid back and do things differently.

And differently they have been done :)

I honestly didn't even have to put any effort in making sure they were different. Life with 2 boys in school, sports and after school activities just made the way I mothered a baby different. 

I remember when she was a week old strapping her on me in a carrier and taking her to an 8 p.m. baseball game. Moms came over to ask how old she was and gasped when I told them. I just smiled and said "she needs to get use to it now. This is our life." Every since then I have confidently totted her around to every baseball, soccer or basketball game. And I think she is better because of it and my boys have never felt they were pushed to the side because of her presence.

Amelia has never had a nap schedule, bedtime or any sort of routine when it comes to sleep. Come to think of it maybe that's why at 2 1/2 she still doesn't sleep through the night. Whoops ;) With the boys I let them cry it out until they learned how to sleep. They caught on fast and it was a pretty painless process. With her...whole different story. I think because she is most likely our last I just didn't have it in me to "train" her. I really didn't care (and still don't) that she doesn't sleep through the night. When she cries for me I go grab her and we snuggle together in bed. 

It's like heaven on earth.

I am so much more aware of how fleeting these moments are. Aiden is turning 9 this weekend. NINE. I can still vividly remember the day he was born, the day we came home, his 1st birthday, 2nd birthday...I have no idea where the time has gone. I literally blinked and am looking (almost in the eye) at a 9 year old boy. I want to treasure every.single.second I have with my children. 

So instead of worrying about naps, or how many vegetables she is eating, or how perfect her little outfit is or if she can count or know her numbers, I'm just enjoying her precious little life as imperfect yet perfect as it is.

I would seriously feel sorry for our 4th child if we ever had one ;) 


Monday, January 26, 2015

After a few weeks of deliberating, Cam and I decided just to name our home Escondido House. It just fits it. In Spanish Escondido means "hidden" and because our home sits behind tons of oak trees it is kind of hidden. So welcome to Escondido House...we hope you enjoy it :)

Lots has been going on last week at Escondido. Stucco was finished, rock was delivered, drywall was put up and tape and float (I really have no idea what that is but something about sealing the walls and making them smooth) was finished. It finally looks like a home when you walk's pretty amazing.

Living Room
the hallway goes to the powder room, laundry room and our bedroom. I love that the laundry room is right by my bedroom.


foyer and stairs

Amelia and Asher's room ( I thought I took a pic of Aiden's room but guess not)

game room

As we were walking around and checking it all our Asher stopped and looked at me and said "Mommy I can't believe this is really going to be our house." His eyes were so wide with excitement and happiness. It was one of those moments that I will never forget. How happy and thankful he looked.

This house has been a dream a long time coming for us. Not many people know but our lives changed back in 2010 when the Affordable Healthcare Act was passed. It was as if Cameron had lost his job and had to start all over. We were heavily in debt and the walls were closing in. I remember sitting on our back porch talking about our choices. Were we going to throw in the flag and give up or fight back and work our hardest to get back to where we were. We chose the second route. Every second since then we are so thankful we did. Cameron read all the signs God was giving us and started concentrating on building a new agency for Medicare and opened an office in Sun City. We talked about me getting a job but with the boys still young neither of us wanted that. So my job was to follow a super strict budget with literally no extra spending as we worked to payoff our debt. 2010-2012 we really hard. We stuck together and promised to never let our financial situation get in between our relationship or ever to let our kids know what was going on. We prayed daily for strength and always followed the path God was paving for us. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29 11-13

We made it through. Little by little every year after 2012 got easier. Our last day in our old house Cameron paid off our last credit card. It was an amazing feeling...I can't even explain it. We were leaving our old home and our debt behind. We were moving forward to a new future where we would never allow ourselves to get into the financial problems were in before. That feeling...well neither of us will ever forget it. It felt good. We hugged it out and thanked the Lord for his blessings on us. 

"For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light" Ephesians 5:8

Everyone deals with hardships in their lives. I'm not at all saying ours was harder then anyone else's. I'm saying it was hard for us...the hardest experience we have dealt with as a couple. I know many people out there deal with a lot worse but instead of comparing hardships let's embrace them and lift each other up.

And I will end this post with one of the cutest pictures I have ever taken

Love her :)

in between moments

Monday, January 12, 2015

In between shopping for the new house and counting down the days till March 31st  we are

Snuggling in bed with cousins who spend the night

Playing at the park with friends on nice winter days

Feeding ducks at the park with Papa

Then taking a long nature walk/scooter ride.

And even though we have been blessed with some gorgeous unseasonal weather, we still have our fair share of cold days

So we break out the hot chocolate

And get Grandpa to build a fire so we can roast marshmallows
living at Papa and Grandpa's definitely has it's perks ;)

 Eat breakfast fire side because the kitchen is just WAY too cold

Snuggle in bed when a certain 2 kiddos can't fall asleep

Play the opening game of basketball season and am assigned to guard what we loving named "Baby Shaq" ;)

I mean look at that kid! Aiden guarded him like a boss (insert fist bump)

Try out a new dance class! 
which made me fall in love with her all over again!

And bake cakes with papa for no reason at all!

Life is goodie goodie gumdrops right now!

House Update:
The only work that was done last week due to cold and rainy weather and waiting for stucco to dry, was the bathtubs were installed. We are hoping that despite a few rainy days more can get done this week!

house name

Friday, January 9, 2015

I want to name our new home. I am SO tired of calling it the new house. It's so much more to us then that. I want to have a name for it and make a sign with that name and proudly display it. So I've been searching and googling names for homes and surprisingly it's pretty popular to name your home. 

Here are things about our home that I love:

  • the view
  • the trees
  • the location
  • the land
  • the very cool, funky shaped climbing tree out front
  • the sunset view
  • the fact that it's our home we designed together for our family

Of course there are so many other things but these are my standout favorites. I can vividly remember the day Cameron drove me out to the lot he liked and I immediately fell in love and knew it was where our home would be. So I've been looking for names that would incorporate these things. Here is my list so far...

Escondido (the street it's on. It mean hidden and because our house is kind of hidden behind trees I think it's cool. Kids do not like though)

Valley View 

Ardmore (in Irish it means home with view...well at least that's what I found online)

Oak View 

Friendly Oaks


Camp Comfort

Ohana Home (Ohana means family and it comes from the boys favorite movie Lilo and Stitch)

These are just a few I've been pondering. Would take any suggestions :)

I'll leave you some inspiration!

homework room

Thursday, January 8, 2015

The homework room is one of my most favorite parts of our house. Ever since the boys started school, we never had a place where they can sit and do homework. Sometimes they did it at the kitchen table, sometimes the dining room table, sometimes the desk in our old room and sometimes upstairs in their room. I've been wanting a designated place for them to be able to go for awhile. That was one of the things that I loved about Escondido's (our temporary new house name until I find the perfect name) floorplan.

I love that this room is by the kitchen and living so that they won't be too far from me when they need help.

I love that it's going to have wood floors and an awesome light fixture.

I love that there are 2 big, beautiful windows.

Most of all I love that there are french door with full glass panes. They can go in there and get their work done, with the doors closed but still feel part of whatever might be going on (most likely me cooking and Sissy playing).

Last weekend my parents took the kids for a day of fun so Cameron and I took advantage of an afternoon with only 1 child and went furniture window shopping. Our first stop was World Market where we pretty much found all the furniture we want for the homework room! Yay!

Desk and chair. We are thinking 2 desks so there is plenty of work space and room for the computer.

Cameron has ALWAYS wanted a drafting table. I mean always, since he was in high school always. When he saw this one he was a little head over heels for it. Asher is quite the artist so we figure he will love having this table as well.

Here are some cute wall hangings I love and then a bookshelf that we might or might not get...not sure yet.

At the boy's school there are words that they use as a way to model your life. I love these words and so do the boys. I want to hang them around the room using a mix of wooden letters, prints, metal letters, chalkboards...just fun ways to encourage them!

Inquirer, Knowledgeable, Open-Minded, Reflective, Thinkers, Risk-Takers, Principled, Caring, Communicators and Balanced

Shouldn't we all try to model these words? :)

Cameron and I are just SO excited about Escondido! He went out Sunday and spent hours out there measuring every room...every wall height and length and then drew them to scale in a notebook. When he got home we talked about all the furniture we had looked at and he drew them to scale in the room. Isn't he the bomb dot com ;)

This is how we are imagining it to look. The windows are super tall so having the draft able in front of the windows won't matter. The view won't be blocked.

In other news on the home front, we found out from the contractor that the date they are currently looking at for us to close is March 31st! If I'm being honest, I'm a little disappointed it's not sooner. I was so hoping that it would be during spring break which is the second full week of March. Lately the weather here has been wet and nasty so that's causing a small delay and pushing us back a little. Oh's all in God's hands and he always seems to know what our family needs :)

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